“it’s worse than shite”
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney this morning and on his advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my [...]
1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game [...]
1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.
2. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever! Unless you actually marry her.
3. When questioned by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information [...]
Women’s English
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
We need to talk = you’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead = you better not
Do what you want = you will pay for this later
I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
You’re very [...]