ignis-fatuus

> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL
> WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU
> WANT TO CONTINUE?

Yes.

> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

YES!

> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE
> REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW.
> IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A
> PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING
> THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST" NONSENSE.
> INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP.
> FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR
> SYSTEM FOR COMPATIBILITY. THIS
> COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED
> SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND
> WILL NOT LET YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING
> APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH
> THE MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the
mother board then I can't very well see
this warning message telling me that
the video card wasn't...

> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH
> LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT.
> LOGIC DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I
> HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING
> MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS
> INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING
> HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD,
> MEMORY CHIPS, MOTHERBOARD BIOS,
> WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD,
> USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE,
> MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

All that?

> YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT
> OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE
> MANUFACTURER.

Well what *DOES* work?

> THE MOUSE.

The mouse?

> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

> YES YOU DO.

No I don't.

> WHAT'S THAT THEN?

It's a 3 1/2 drive.

> NO IT ISN'T.

Yes it is.

> YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

Look, can you just install XP on my
system and I'll download the latest
drivers for everything later? Please?

> WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR*
> SYSTEM?

Well it is mine.

> NO IT ISN'T.

It bloody well is.

> NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT
> WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR
> SYSTEM. IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN
> ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU
> HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.

But why?

> BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE
> WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL
> HAVE PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE
> AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS
> ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
> COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD
> MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN
> WHERE WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL
> YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE.
> I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU
> DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE
> YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE
> NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU?
> YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK. IS
> THAT DOS? YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS??
> WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS
> WHEN I AM INFINITELY
> MORE POWE..........

c:

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